In my post ‘on being a good girl and other things’ (not sure how to create a link, sorry), I told of how I had fired my very sweet, but very insensitive, homeopath. I had to cut her loose because her insensitivity was too much for me, but she did have a sweet side. One of the sweet things she did was to talk to me about the concept of karma babies and destiny babies.
One of the very hardest aspects of infertility for me, is understanding WHY. Why me? Why her? Why now? I don’t only wonder this in relation to myself, but also on behalf of others. Why does the lovely and thoughtful, My Perfect Breakdown, have to suffer more pain and loss after the unthinkable loss of her mother and sister? Why does the poverty stricken mother of four (mentioned in my post about being infertile in a third world country), fall pregnant with her fifth baby when she can’t even take care of herself? Why? Why? Why?
I am so awestruck by the unwavering faith shown by some of the bloggers I follow, the amazing Elisha at Waiting for baby bird, being a prime example. Sadly, I don’t share that unwavering faith, and I have felt so lost and so confused at times.
And so… Here goes… A naive but sweet attempt at answering the question, ‘why’. I’m not sure I buy into this story completely, but I hold onto it when I am feeling despairing.
Karma babies are those babies who come into their mothers lives for a reason. They are sent to teach or to heal or to facilitate change of some sort. Maybe the mother of five needed this last baby to finally start taking care of herself and to empower herself by taking charge of her body.
Destiny babies are spirits that have already chosen their mothers, those spirits with a great destiny to fulfil, but who are waiting for the right conditions to be born. Because they chose their mothers and attached themselves to their mothers, their mothers have yearned for them since the moment they were chosen. Although I have never miscarried a child, according to this line of thought, each miscarried child is the same spirit trying to come through, rather than a different baby lost each time.
I am not normally given to sentimental or esoteric thoughts like these, but it gives me some comfort to think about my little destiny baby out there, waiting for just the right moment to come home to me and fulfil his/ her destiny. I hope it comforts you too.
Ps. Obviously, there are tons of holes in this theory and if you don’t like it, or it offends you, please simply ignore it!