I recently realised that it’s been a while since I posted about our egg donor process and I guess there are a few reasons for this. Mostly it’s because I have tried to approach the entire experience very differently from how I approached our IVF cycles last year. Specifically, I have been consciously trying to be more detached from both the process and the outcome. Whilst this may not be ideal, it is the best, and in fact the only way that I can maintain some semblance of sanity whilst trying AGAIN to have a baby – with all the many hundred’s and thousand’s of soul agonizing fears that this entails.
To this end, I have made very conscious efforts to focus on other things in my life besides trying to have a baby. Whilst last year was completely and utterly consumed by IVF and a miscarriage, this year has been very different. I have put a lot more energy into my work and have found this to be slightly exhausting but also rewarding. An upside to this has also been that I have earned a bit more money and have done some nice things such as buy myself a bicycle and book a long weekend for myself and my husband in Cape Town, which is coming up soon. I have also booked flights to go and visit my mom. She lives in Grahamstown and I will be going over the annual Grahamstown Arts Festival – so I have already booked a few shows and am much looking forward to them. My sister and niece will be visiting simultaneously, which is AWESOME!
Alongside this we have also limited the number of people we have told. Last year we were very open about our IVF cycles and whilst we so appreciated the outpouring of love and support that we received, we also became exhausted by answering the millions of questions and messages of concern – especially when things went from good to bad…to worse…and even more bad. So this time, only our immediate family know what is happening and they have been under strict instructions to keep the information to themselves. I have explained to all our other loved ones exactly how we feel and why, and they have all been very respectful of our decision to be more private this time. This has certainly helped me to maintain the level of detachment that I want and need.
I also realised with some horror the other day that I had neglected some important non-fertility health-related issues. Simple things like going to the dentist and having a pap smear and breast exam. Isn’t that ironic in so many ways? I am happy to report that I have now been to the dentist, had two fillings and have a bite guard for night time as I am grinding my teeth. I have had a pap smear and breast exam and all is good and healthy. And I have also had a whole lot of routine blood tests – sugar, glucose, liver and kidney function etc etc and I am in great health. My cholesterol is 1.5 which is awesome. So, I am ready to be a good oven.
And this is a good thing, because our donor had her egg retrieval this morning and we are currently sitting by the phone, waiting with baited breath to hear how many mature eggs were retrieved. Transfer will be done on Day 5, which is Monday! A huge part of me knows how big this is, but another part of me is like, meh, whatev’s. Physically, the donor process has been like a walk in the park compared to my own stims and retrievals last year. It is very easy for me to forget that anything is actually happening! I went for a scan last week and my lining was 8mm and expected to grow more, so they were happy with that and I was told there was no need to go back again until transfer. So for me personally, this process has involved one injection, one scan and some daily oestrogen tablets – child’s play I tell you! I’m sure things will start feeling real once we get that call to tell us how things are going. I will let you all know!